For a long time now I’ve had strong beliefs of how Hollywood and mainstream media affect our ideals in regards to relationships and love as a whole, and how warped and unrealistic it is. We’re used to the notion that the good guy gets the girl in the end, or the whirlwind romance taking flight and taking us on some romantic ride through the forest or whatever. Movies, books, TV, and other forms of media don’t show you the hardships behind love or relationships. And maybe some people don’t want to see that stuff, they want that stuff to be different from real life.

Me personally, and I am strictly referring to my own personal feelings on this matter, I would rather have some realism. The reason behind this is somewhat new to me, and all this week I’ve been looking back at past relationships with new eyes, or perspective.

Expectations kill our relationships faster than they have the time to flourish, and you may think you have no expectations, but you do, everyone does. The thought that I love you, but only if you love me back is so engrained into us that it kills the nourishment that just experiencing love at all is a good thing.

My big thing was not just expecting that person to feel the same way that I did, and actually getting pissed when they didn’t, but being a controlling asshole about it too. You can’t bully someone into loving you, and if you did, it wouldn’t last. Where does this controlling nature come from? Fear, I’m so afraid of losing, losing someone, losing an opportunity, a chance, that I will control and hold onto things, and make them what I want them to be. But that is not love, fear is not love.

I’ve learned this week that my love, my feelings that I have are true when I sit back and accept them for what they are and for what I receive in return.

Lose the fear, lose the expectations, lose the control….let it happen.